I’m about to give a specific example.
I have battled with myself whether to do this or not, but this morning I have decided that I don’t want to be the piggy in the middle after the fall out of our Threesome Group of Tarot Trampettes. First – some context – for anyone who doesn’t know who I am you could maybe go back early last year where I am mentioned in the Divination Radio show and a lot on Fiona’s profile. You will see her putting my name in conversations, and you will have seen me promoting her deck, projects, blogs etc. on my own page – why? Because we were a close knit group. Me, Fiona Benjamin and Lisa Boswell would talk for HOURS on a daily basis about all kinds of things. I guess we clicked, since we were all young readers of the association – we were BEST friends. Or at least I thought we were.
I have never said a word about this because I am an adult, and a private person and I’m not the type to engage in flaming wars online. I like to keep myself to myself for the most part because I hate drama. Unfortunately I have found myself in the position where drama is on my doorstep, and I have to go over that step in order to move on. I can’t stand to see this public spectacle and hold my tongue any longer. I am only posting at all, because I see you getting away with the ‘poor me’ and ‘I’m such a badass inventive bitch’ routine and I don’t think its right.
Fiona herself admits that this is a repetitive cycle. Do you all REALLY think its coincidence that she is the common denominator in each of these occasions? (I’m getting to the point – stay with me).
In our conversation group we used to throw ideas off each other and see what we thought – we supported each other. I thought that it was an unwritten rule that friends don’t rip friends off and then dress it up as ‘collaboration’. Collaboration to me is where both parties give consent, and then both benefit equally from the results. Collaboration is NOT taking a friends specific plans and turning them into your own thing without a word to them, and without a word to the people you’re then pitching that idea to. You say that you always give credit, Fiona. First hand I can tell you and everyone that this is not true.
In January of 2015 I started working on a new addition to my business. I mentioned this in our group chat and even said that I would send gifts to Fiona and Lisa.
I posted samples on my facebook wall and received comments about them. In February 2015 I officially put out that my Tarot Reading Mats were going onto my website, and would be available very soon. I specifically called them Mats to differentiate them from existing Tarot ‘Cloths’ that were on the market at that time. Having seen a flaw in my own cloths that I took to parties, I decided to add pockets to my mats so that cards, crystals, runes – anything – could be stored in there. Then the mats could be rolled up with the cards ready to go in their pockets. The first one I made was an Alice in Wonderland themed mat. You might recall that Lisa actually posted a picture on her profile of the mat and bag set I made for her – it got a lot of attention.
In June/July 2015 Fiona one day, out of the blue, released a photograph of a reading MAT she had made. An Alice in Wonderland reading MAT. It had a zip pocket and her write up was eerily similar to what I had put up. I tried to shrug it off, I was like, ok she is entitled to make whatever she wants… but she had never said a word to me. I was continuing to ignore it, and then a few members of the Tarot Community who had seen my mats, popped up in my inbox, and I realised that I wasn’t just being paranoid – this was a blatant rip off of my idea. It wouldn’t have bothered me so much but Fiona was my friend. I recall people commenting on the thread saying how clever her idea was.. did she correct them and say she had taken inspiration from me? Did she say, hey people of the UK did you know my best friend also makes these and you can get yours from her direct? Did she fuck. She allowed them to believe this was her idea.
We had all made this agreement that we were going to promote each others products – in fact to add insult to injury this was Fionas idea in the first place (don’t worry I’ll never take credit for your planz)! Instead of doing this, Fiona used this idea and profitted from it by opening her own etsy store. I don’t think she does these anymore – it seems she picks up an idea and then drops it after a couple of months – the same with her branding. I’m not sure what annoys me more – the fact that you took an idea that I was going to commit to and use as part of my income, or the fact that you gave it up after doing that.
I decided then to take the high road. I unfollowed her feed, and even forgot that she was on my friends list for a while. Because she never messaged me to ask whats up, or how I was, or why contact had suddenly ceased. I believe this is because she knew exactly why.
I stopped making mats altogether, I guess my heart wasn’t in it anymore – because she had a larger following than me (since I don’t accept many friend requests on my personal profile) I thought maybe people would think it was me ripping HER idea off. I decided to come up with a new concept and keep it to myself.
Its not a nice feeling that you can’t trust your friends. I have never slagged Fiona off publicly or made a scene. I had better things to do, and honestly I still thought maybe there was some way we could salvage the relationship – because we had some really good laughs! I had mixed feelings because if you’re any kind of friend, you want to see your friends do well. I saw her taking an idea that I admittedly hadn’t launched fully with, and making it a success. Good for her.
I moved on. I decided not to be a bitter person.
Now I see you, Fiona, making public declarations of self pity. I can’t stand self pity. I see you trying to make everyone else out to be a liar without realising that it takes two to tango. Without taking responsibility for your part of the situation. I see you challenging their credibility, without ever calling into question your own superiority. I see people lapping this all up, because they want to believe that this image you have created for yourself is real.
See I take full responsibility for not doing more to launch my idea, it was my fault that I didn’t capitalise as much as I could on it. Someone else was bound to jump on it I just never expected it to be you.
The thing is people, you can believe what you want. But I have been IN conversations where specific ideas have been discussed, and I have seen you first hand steal ideas. Its a pattern. It wouldn’t even be an issue if you just said “hey mate do you mind if I take this idea and put my spin on it – is that cool with you” and I’d have been like sure no problem but would you mind crediting me for the original concept? Maybe others would too.
Over time your circle of friends started changing and your personality changed a LOT. It seemed to change depending on who you were hanging around with at any given moment, and I find that chameleon likeness disconcerting and untrustworthy.
From what I’ve seen you do to others that you’ve fallen out with I knew it would be in my best interests to distance myself gradually from you. You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with holding grudges.
I don’t have the time or inclincation to hold a grudge. I have stuff to do.
If you think that this won’t happen to you because Fiona is your ‘homegirl’ or whatever, all I can say is that its something you have to experience first hand to understand, and if you have original ideas then you probably will experience it.
There are specific situations that can easily be given up for evidence if we wanted to waste all of our times…. or are we pretending that coincidences exist now?
If this hadn’t happened to me, this small thing, then I probably would’ve had my doubts too so I don’t blame people for believing you – you have the gift of the gab, and are usually a likable person. However, its not just that. I have seen specific ideas of Lisa’s(and proven myself trustworthy because I have never told anyone or taken those ideas), and so I know exactly that there is a lot more going on here. I feel bad that some of the people supporting you now and blanking Lisa, are ones that you have privately slated in the past. I’m at the point where I’m questioning everything you ever told me, and thats how I know its time to move on.
For anyone who thinks I should not be saying this publicly, may I just remind you that I’ve happily gone half a year without saying a word. The only one making a public scene was Fiona. I don’t care for attention seeking but that doesn’t mean I have to stand by and see her talk shit without saying anything. I see it as my duty to be loyal to a friend who has always had my back, and who has never given me cause for complaint. For anyone who tries to lump me in the ‘shes jealous’ category – lets face it, that seems to be the popular thing to say these days – please… isn’t it becoming a bit convenient how EVERYONE and their dogs are jealous of Fiona? Alarm bells ringing yet? Can you say self-obsessed? Please don’t let your friends fool you into believing that everyone is jealous of you Fiona, surely you are better than that.
You pretty much asked for a specific example to be given in your challenging status above. Well, here it is. I call this Justice.
I wish you well. I hope you find the place and person you’re looking for. But this is the end for us. Peoples actions speak louder than words. Yours scream incessantly.
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